A few days ago I ran 4 miles with Steve and Pistol my labradoxer (black lab/boxer mix). As I ran, I thought about why I abandoned the practice of timing myself. Last year, I always timed my runs to measure any improvements over the months. But then I began to become obsessed with it, constantly timing, stressing, and judging myself.
I would go out for a run with the intent to speed things up a bit feeling like I was running twenty miles an hour only to find that it was a measly twenty SECONDS faster than my normal time. "What? Is that all?" This would leave me bummed and exhausted.
Then I would look at other runner's speeds, compare them to mine, and realize that I was as slow as a snail on Sunday. This made me begin to hesitate even telling anyone that I ran because I didn't want them to ask my pace. I didn't even want to call myself a runner.
So what did I do? I stopped timing my runs. I stopped comparing myself to other runners. I just decided to enjoy running for the mere fact that I was able to do it. To enjoy that I got to watch the sunset over the lake and soak up being out in nature.
All of this got me thinking about how hard we can be on ourselves. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that one shouldn't strive to become better, but there is a fine line between being motivated to succeed and crumbling under the weight of meeting others ideas of success.
This can apply to all areas of your life. You can either decide to be okay with who you are or you can waste your life stressing out about it, constantly comparing, judging, withdrawing. What kind of a life is that? Be who you are, love it, own it. Don't apologize for it. Psalm 139:14 (New American Standard Bible)says "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."
So a goal for my training is to time myself and own my pace instead of being embarrassed by it. I will just tell myself to "kiss my pace" if I start to stress over it. Ha! Let the timing begin!
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